Posted Jan 18, 12:34 AM in Film by Scott Conley

So am I the only one that thought that “Brokeback Mountain” was something felons do to the new guys?

Like so many men around the country, I too have been challenged by this convention-breaking film. And again, like so many of us, the most direct assault came from the woman in my life.

_“Would you be willing to watch Brokeback Mountain with me?”_

What was left unspoken, but clearly added was, “Or are you afraid?”

Now, I’m quite up-to-speed on what this film’s got to offer- it’s all laid out for you right there on metacritic. “Powerful love story,” “intense emotions,” and oh yeah “rough pup-tent cowboy sex.”

[wickawicka]What?

I’m really sensing trouble on this one, so rather than engage in a dialogue about it, the lines from which I could probably borrow from a thousand couples, I decided to avoid my immediate response, which was certain to include a reference to Jake Gyllenhaal’s family recipe for “delicious donkey punch.”

Further, I ducked the argument-inducing but man-staple “No” for what I thought was a rather clever last-minute substitution- certain to not only clear me of the conversation but also to engender a rather pleasing air of erudition:

“I would almost certainly give it a viewing if it won Best Picture at the Oscar’s. Heck, I would even consider it if it won the Golden Globe.”

...

Fine.

I never liked pup tents anyways.

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